


And Now, Kirumi's Diary in being a Mom Friend

by puffinmuffin13



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Diary/Journal, Gen, Korekiyo has discovered tumblr, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-04-20 23:37:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14272032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puffinmuffin13/pseuds/puffinmuffin13
Summary: Basically just what the title says.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welp. I'm working on the dance show fic don't worry. This just popped into my head and. I don't even know. Enjoy I guess.

X/X/XX

Walked in on Shuichi eating grapes on his bed in the dark today. He stammered out that he didn't have answers. I left.

Kokichi and Kaito argued on the proper way to dispose of a body. Maki intervened. Argument may start up again later. Be prepared.

Kiibo is being taught the art of sarcasm and sass by Miu. I can now add "On a scale of one to Nature Valley, how much is your life falling apart?" onto the list of things I never would have heard had I been sane enough to decline joining my classmates in renting an apartment for all sixteen of us.

Himiko did a singular card trick today. Was given lots of praise from Tenko.

Kokichi has taken up cursing in ice cream flavors.

Tsumugi forced Maki to watch anime with her. There were no casualties this time.

Large bag of flour found on my bed today. Meaning is unclear.

Korekiyo has discovered Tumblr. Chaos is sure to ensue, but exact time is unknown. 

Kaede convinced Tenko, Angie, and Miu to play cards in the elevator. On a related note, they are banned from using the elevator for the rest of the week.

Gonta freed a ladybug today. It was precious.

Korekiyo went on a rant about minions.

Kaede slammed the piano cover onto her fingers this afternoon. Kokichi ran in with a hand towel and ice, wrapped up the ice, put it on Kaede's hand, and left - all while making ambulance noises.

Rantaro left to tutor a lower classman in French. Shouted, "Tis I, the frenchiest fry!" as he left.

Ryoma stared at a glass of milk for twenty minutes. Reminded him of appointment with therapist.

Everyone here is insane.

\- Kirumi.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No, Kaede. Miu doesn't want to jump rope right now.

X/X/XX

Tenko insisted on a girls' day today. Packed lunch and reminded the boys to not cause any explosions this time before leaving.

Went to park. What followed:

Kaede bugged Miu about jump roping with her.  
Tenko dragged Himiko with her on a jog.  
Tsumugi found someone with a Madoka Magica shirt and fangirled with them.  
Angie and Maki climbed trees.

Picnic was a success. There was no fire this time.

Upon returning home, found the boys having a baking competition. Shuichi, Rantaro, Kaito, and Kokichi were the only ones who had succeeded in baking fudge.

Cleaned mess caused by baking competition. Korekiyo and Kaede assisted me.

To add to list: "Why stop at capitilism? Destroy everything." Said by Rantaro.

Maki left for one of her assignments. No questions were asked.

Ordered pizza. Fight over toppings ensued. Decided on two plain and one with pineapple.

Kokichi got into the sugar again. Reminder to get a better lock on the cabinet, one he can't pick.

Kokichi finally sugar crashed. It is nearly eight and I have to deal with the paint he got on the ceiling. I need an aspirin.

Shuichi helped Gonta feed his snails today. Gonta started tearing up with happiness.

Korekiyo has been staring at the screen of his phone for half an hour now. I believe he broke again.

Finally went to bed at eleven. Wished everyone goodnight and screamed into pillow.

I can hear Maki reheating pizza in the kitchen. Dear Atua just let me sleep.

Atua apparently took my prayers as an invitation to allow Angie to create a group chat. I promptly shut it down for the night.

Thank Atua everyone's finally asleep. Goodnight.

\- Kirumi


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I GET ALL MY INSPIRATION FROM PINTEREST AND CURRENTLY WANNA SCREAM SO TAKE THIS CHAPTER AND YOU BETTER BE HAPPY WITH IT.

X/X/XX

Rantaro ordered Chinese food. He ordered nothing but dumplings.

Update: everyone decided to eat the previously mentioned dumplings (and nothing else) for breakfast today.

Korekiyo creeped Shuichi out again.

Ryoma told a story from his early days of playing tennis. He actually smiled as he did so.

Just saw Rantaro go past on a razor scooter wearing a snuggie again. Himiko: "That is a smart man."

Kokichi and Kaede went to the store to try on dresses. When questioned, Kokichi said, "Because freak gender roles, that's why."

Update: they're sending pictures, and they look really good in their dresses.

Tenko left for aikido practice. She took Himiko with her again.

Tsumugi insisted I watch Black Butler with her. It is oddly entertaining.

Maki and Gonta played chess today. They're both terrible at it. I decided to tutor them.

Miu is doing maintenance on Kiibo. I am not sure if I should check on them or not, considering what I saw the last time I did so.

... I am not sure how I did not realize that Angie bought a trampoline.

Kaito sang the Bohemian Rhapsody again today. He tried to get Shuichi and Maki to join him, but they refused.

Kokichi, Tsumugi, and Shuichi watched Deathnote. They did not blast the sound into every corner of the apartment this time.

The rest of the fudge is missing.

Update: the culprit was found. Yes, it was Miu and I.

Korekiyo is typing furiously on his phone. I am afraid to ask.

...I could swear this family gets more dysfunctional as I write. Goodnight.

\- Kirumi


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heh, I just saw a train thingy on Pinterest and couldn't help myself. Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: I did very little editing on this.

X/X/XX

Today we start our week-long trip down to America. So far, what has happened:

Angie tried to pack a large wooden statue.  
Gonta asked Ryoma for help deciding on which pill bug he should take.  
Tenko did all of Himiko's packing for her.  
Tsumugi packed a bag full of nothing but anime merch and mangas.  
Kiibo realized he didn't have much to take and let Miu use part of his bag.  
Kaito tried to convince Shuichi not to take any hats. He was unsuccessful.

And, finally:

Kokichi referred to the crowded train we took down to the airport as a "friendly train."

... Actually, that isn't the end of the Kokichi Train Chronicles.

When we first got onto the train, we realized we couldn't find Kokichi and searched the entire train for him, hoping he was on the train and not stuck back at the train station. But just as Gonta is working himself into a panic, whatever do we hear over the intercom but Kokichi, who had somehow convinced the conductor to allow him to use it. Kokichi points out interesting birds at each station, congratulates everyone for being on time on "this fine Monday morning," and gave an unofficial weather report on what he thought the weather was going to be like. When I had had enough, I yelled, "Kokichi Ouma! You had better get back here or so help me I will ground your butt into next week!" Over the intercom was a timid, "Yes, mom." and Kokichi walked out of the conductor's cabin and all the way back to me, where I picked him up like a toddler. The entire train burst into applause.

Thankfully, nothing that extreme happened at the airport, though there was some whining from Miu. And even now, as I write this, falling asleep on our plane, I think it a miracle nothing has happened h

I apologize. Kokichi has convinced the goddamn *pilots* to let him talk over the intercom, and I must take my leave.

\- Kirumi.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirumi is a tired mom sick of everyone's dung.

X/XX/XX

We have landed. As we did so, I heard a bouncing sound and, "Oh no my potato." from where Rantaro was. I did not ask.

Remind me again why I let Kaede be in charge of driving our rental van.

We have finally arrived at our hotel with minor casualties. I am going to risk it and leave the kids alone while I check in.

Update: I should not have taken that risk. I am not sure of the exact amount we now owe the hotel, but it is more than our room cost, that is for sure.

I have come to despise Ring Pops. Please, do not ask.

I must say, I am impressed with some of the services here in America. I will have to discuss them with Korekiyo later, to find what American maids do differently from those taught in Japan, such as myself.

Shu  
Sjs  
`  
-@;  
°~\

 

Heyo! Nishishi this is Kokichi I took Kirumi's diary woo!

Aw, but there's hardly anything juicy in here... Kinda makes me wish I was back at school to

WHAT THIS ISN'T MY DIARY I FORGOT ABANDON SHIP ABANDON SHIP

 

Hello. This is Kirumi. Kokichi stole my diary as I was about to write in it that Shuichi was hit on by some boys who mistook him for a woman. Kaede intervened.

Now. I am tired, jet lagged, and cannot take another swarm of locusts in the ventilator. Goodnight.

\- Kirumi


	6. Malls, Bees, n Trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Kirumi's diminishing sanity comes longer paragraphs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lols, bet you thought this was over, right? Nope! I'm finally getting back to these old fics!

X/XX/XX

Our first full day in America began with a farmer's market and Gonta finding a fellow insect whisperer. Gonta and the woman exchanged tips on caring for the bees (she was a beekeeper) through Korekiyo as a translator, and overall it almost distracted me from Kokichi climbing a tree and getting stuck in it.

Tenko screeched, "You underestimate my power!" and threw a large book at Rantaro again. Where she got the book is unknown.

We decided to stop by a playground (further solidifying my belief that everyone here is secretly a child). Korekiyo, Miu, and I were, not surprisingly, the only ones who didn't participate in playing.

I do not know what Kokichi was talking to that boy we saw at the playground about, but Kokichi got a nose bleed and the boy hit his head.

Tenko just described Himiko as, "the village witch but she's a good witch," and Rantaro chimed in with, "probably. We think."

We're finishing our trip out with a wander around the mall.

Update: We are fifteen steps in the mall and already over half of this family has gotten distracted by "squshies."

Kaede and Miu, talking about a gumball machine: "That's gotta be at least twelve gumballs."

I do not understand the store selling nothing but full grown ducks, and I do not want to know.

The cinnamon bites they sell here are tastier than I'd care to admit.

Rantaro and Kokichi have gone missing. I would be more concerned, had most of my sanity not been lost already.

Update: we found them at the duck store. They bought a duck. The duck's name is Steve. I wish to go home now.

By a unanimous vote, we have stopped in the cafe area for lunch. I am sure there is a proper name for it, but right now I cannot think of it.

Angie: "What the heck are these sandwiches. Atua says they taste like cardboard with goop and leaves on them, and Angie agrees."

Tried to clean up after most everyone else as they finished. Kaede offered to help, but I declined. She was insistent, though, and by the time I managed to finish our disagreement all our plates and such had disappeared. I am not sure whether I should be impressed or annoyed by how well the janitors work here.

Kaito said something that he realized was incorrect, but it was too late. Kokichi reached into his pocket, pulled out some glitter, and showered the glitter over Kaito, saying, "Behold the baptism of stupid."

We left the mall after that, and the rest of the day will be spent in the hotel pool.

... You know, I should know by now not to leave this family alone, even if it is for a brief period of time.

We have removed the lobster from the pool.

I have given up completely on this family.

\- Kirumi.


End file.
